What if......

One of our sillier photo sessions

I think it is normal to rethink things that have transpired in our lives.  Who doesn't question what if I had not done this - or what if this didn't happen.  My most recent thought has been "What if Heather didn't get bitten by that awful Lyme disease carrying tick?"

I was wondering how things would have been different if she hadn't become so ill.  My guess is that she would still be living in New York and employed at the same restaurant, her hectic schedule would limit the amount of time that I would get to see her (yes, selfishly sometimes it is all about me), and she would still be surrounded by her amazing group of friends in the city.

That all seems pretty normal and idyllic.  No disease, gainfully employed, healthy, and happy.

However, I have come to realize that life as you know it can change in a minute.  A serious illness can quickly alter what we seem to take for granted.  As bad as it seemed in the moment, I am now able to breathe a sigh of relief and realize that maybe, just maybe, some things happen for a reason.

In a different scenario, she might have been bitten by the tick, but she would have seen the rash and then she could have been healed within a few weeks without any chronic issues.  If this were the case, I wouldn't have joined Facebook or starting blogging to spread awareness about Lyme disease.  I could have maintained my "internet privacy."  As I have mentioned numerous times, it is challenging to find the right words and share personal information in such a public way.  But again - I am rambling.

Since I can't turn back time, I search for the positives.  I am so thankful that Heather had an amazing medical team, she was lucky to live near a Lyme endemic area where they knew to eventually test for Lyme (remember some people go months and years before being tested).  Heather was blessed to have the support of family and friends while she healed.  She was fortunate to work for one of the largest restaurant groups in the country and to have access to an amazing health care plan.

Do I wish she never contracted Lyme Disease?  Of course I do.  One hundred percent.  Without a doubt.  Sadly, Lyme disease is her reality. 

If I had turned back the clock, Heather would probably not have relocated to the beach.  She wouldn't have had the opportunity to spend extended quality time with her family.  She may not have renewed some relationships with friends from her childhood.  She may not have had the time to really sit back and reflect on life and what really matters.  She may not have realized how strong and resilient she is. 

I really feel that Heather seems more at peace with herself.  She appears to be in a really great place.  I hear excitement and anticipation for the future in our conversations.

Maybe turning back time would have spared her from this unknown journey with Lyme, but I am hopeful for Heather and all the positive changes that are coming her way and that she deserves.


What are the symptoms for Lyme Disease?

Lyme disease symptoms generally fall into three camps: neurological, arthritic, and cardiac. The most common symptoms patients have are fatigue, headache, joint pain, and heart palpitations.   A lot of people have different variations of neurological Lyme disease, so they can't think straight, experience memory loss, or even [have] psychological issues, like depression and anxiety.  The symptoms vary a lot from person to person, though. One person may be tired and have headaches, while someone else might have it and feel great except for a swollen knee.  There are a lot of different strains, so symptoms depend on what the tick was carrying when it bit you.

If you suspect you have Lyme disease, make sure to ask how up-to-date the office's testing system is.  People are told, 'No, you don't have it, we don't know what's wrong with you,' but sometimes that's based on out-of-date Lyme technology that has 55 percent accuracy. 

It's a small world

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears
It's a world of hopes and a world of fears....

A few months after Heather was diagnosed with Lyme, we both realized how little is known about Lyme Disease and we decided to share Heather's story.  We made up business cards with our blog URL and the back of the cards have facts about Lyme. In the event that we share her story with a stranger, we provide a card so they can maybe help someone else understand the importance of early detection and treatment.  It's not like we walk up to people and say "Heather has Lyme, have a business card."  That would be awkward.

Heather doesn't let Lyme define her. She is living with Lyme.   She still has some lingering complications from Lyme, but Lyme is not the first thing that Heather wants people to know about her.  Heather would rather talk about her family and friends, love of music, the beach, and politics (come on, she is from the DC area - we talk politics), 

As a bartender on the Outer Banks, Heather has many clients that chat up about the beach, where they are from, etc.  A common question to Heather is where is she from. When she mentions that she recently moved down here from NYC, they are puzzled and want to know who, what, where, when, and WHY.  

Heather then mentions since she was 4 years old, she spent several weeks a summer at the beach house.  If they keep probing, they ask why the decision  to move from the big city to a quaint beach town.  Then, Heather may tell them that she is recovering from Lyme disease and she needed time to heal, work, and relax.  In my mind that means live at beach.    

This summer she has met several people that had severe cases of Lyme and recovered.  They were honest about how life altering their journey was.  Some went undiagnosed for years, some had neurological problems like Heather, some were lucky to see the bulls eye rash and get a quick treatment without experiencing the chronic effects Lyme Disease can have.  

The common thread in these stories was a shared compassion and understanding for what Heather is going through and a complete understanding of how life altering Lyme Disease can be.  They also offered realistic hope to Heather.  They told her that it takes time, but they are winning and beating the disease. 

That damn deer tick is small and Heather is now a member of the "small world"  of people living with Lyme Disease. 

Below are the words to Disney's "It's a Small World" - bet you can't read the lyrics without singing along!  

Also, scroll down to bottom to see images of that awful deer tick.  Crazy how small the tick is.  It's a wonder people notice it on their body.

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears
It's a world of hopes and a world of fears
There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware

It's a small world after all

It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world

There is just one moon and one golden sun
And a smile means friendship to everyone
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide

It's a small world after all

It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world

But you don't look sick.....

So many chronically ill patients hear these words.  Tough words to hear when the patient is feeling like crap and putting on a brave face so other people don't have to hear and see their pain. 

For the record, Heather doesn't look "sick" in the pictures that I post.  Yes, it is obvious to many that know her, that she lost a lot of muscle and weight.  I know - some people are thinking that they wish they could lose weight too.  Trust me - nobody wants to lose weight because of a disease.  

Heather is eating and Heather has lost weight.  Both are true.  Sadly another true statement is that she is still recovering from Lyme.  

A few weeks ago Heather caught a stomach virus that was going around.  Most people were sick for a day or two.  Heather's immune system is still compromised and it takes her longer to recover.  It has been about two weeks and she randomly spikes a fever.  A sign that her body is fighting, but still a concern.   She knows her body and she makes the necessary adjustments.  

I wish Heather never contracted Lyme.  I wish that Heather wasn't out of work for almost 7 months.  I wish that I could wave a magic wand and her Lyme would go away. Lyme disease was life altering to Heather - but she is recovering.   

As for these cute photos that I have recently taken of Heather - they make me happy.  They give me hope and remind me that she is recovering.  Heather grew up in front of my camera, and she indulges my need to have a fun photo shoot once a year.  Since I have been blogging, she has been more than gracious.  

I cherish the pictures that I have from the old school film and negatives day.  Buying a roll of film and then having it developed was not a cheap thing to do.   You were lucky if you got one really good shot from a roll of film.  When you did, that picture was precious and cherished - just like my Heather is to me.  

Smile Heather -  the camera loves you and so do I. 



The CDC reports somewhere around 300,000 cases of the disease each year, and the infection rate has been on the rise for the past few decades. But scientists say the disease is widely unreported and inconsistently diagnosed, so the real infection rate could be as much as 10 times what we think it is. 

Early detection and treatment is critical.