Paying it forward

One of the things I’ve learned in life is that one of the most precious gifts you can give is the gift of your time. It might be as simple as spending time with your family, offering a helping hand to someone in need, or simply listening when someone needs to talk.

Since Heather has been sick, she has worked hard to find her new “normal.” She doesn’t yet have the stamina to return to work, but she’s always looking for things that give her structure, make her feel involved, and keep both her body and mind active.

Chronic illness can easily take over your whole world. But as I’ve said before, Heather refuses to give her illness that kind of power. She lives with it, but she won’t let it define her.

In the last few months, Heather’s health has truly improved. She finally has an appetite again, she’s slowly gaining weight, her brain fog is lifting, and she’s genuinely excited about the days ahead. A few weeks ago, she decided she wanted to volunteer. She considered her options and chose to help with the presidential election.

Before I go on, this blog is not about politics or anyone’s political beliefs. It’s about my daughter learning a beautiful, valuable life lesson: the gift of volunteering.

Heather now spends several hours each day helping at the campaign office. It makes me smile to see her regaining her confidence, finding structure in her day, meeting new people, using her incredible organizational skills, and simply feeling proud of what she’s accomplished.

Honestly, she comes home glowing. It reminds me of her teenage years, when she’d return from a performance or competition and excitedly share every detail with me.

Yes, I’m biased, but when Heather commits to something, she gives it her full attention. She’s a worker bee who isn’t looking for praise—only the satisfaction of knowing she did her best. She found the perfect volunteer position, and I couldn’t be more proud.

So let’s rewind to 2005.

Heather had been in NYC for a few years, and I suddenly had too much free time on my hands. I knew I wanted to pay it forward, so I volunteered at the pediatric wing of a local hospital. As a volunteer, I was given a list of patients—children without a parent or family member present. It wasn’t that their parents didn’t want to be there; many had other children at home or jobs they couldn’t leave. The reasons didn’t matter. What mattered was what I could do for those children.

I’ll admit, there were days I arrived feeling sorry for myself about a rough day at work or something trivial going on in my life. But every time I left the hospital, I realized I was getting back so much more than I was giving. Truly.

You think you’re having a bad day—then you see the fear in a parent’s face as their child is wheeled away for a procedure. Or you watch a tiny baby lying in a crib with tubes everywhere and fear in their eyes.

My responsibilities were simple: hold a baby, play a game with a child, read a book. And what did I get in return? A smile. A laugh. A moment where the fear in their eyes faded. I wasn’t doing anything special… I was just there. I took a few hours out of my “busy” life to simply be present.

And yes, I proudly wore that generic blue volunteer jacket with the sensible shoes and pants. Anyone who knows me knows the struggle is real when it comes to uniforms. I’m definitely a “fashion before function” kind of girl—except this time, it was “function and zero fashion.” Shocking, I know.

But enough about me—back to Heather.

She can’t control the many health issues she’s battling, but she can control how she approaches each day and how she finds her way forward. Heather loves volunteering. She’s met so many amazing people who are also giving their time selflessly. Seeing her happiness brings me happiness. (Yes, it always comes back to me eventually.)

In her previous work life in NYC, Heather’s days were consumed with demanding hours and constant deadlines. She tried hard to balance work and play, but there never seemed to be enough time for volunteering. Now she understands that there’s never truly “enough” time—we simply have to reprioritize. There’s always an hour or two each week to help someone else.

Yes, she has more available time right now because of her health. And yes, she would much rather be working her crazy hours than dealing with chronic illness. But I’m incredibly proud that she’s choosing to use this time to give back.

I’m sitting on another blog post I wrote a month ago with a health update—we’ll share that after some additional tests. One thing at a time.

Heather — you never cease to amaze me. The smile on your face when you come home from the campaign office is priceless. You picked the perfect volunteer job for this point in your life, and I’m so grateful you’re feeling better each day.

xo,
Lisa

Our last day in NYC - 2016