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| My Heather - 11/19/16 |
Before I begin, I am blessed that my Mom lived a long life and was able experience being a Grandmother and Great-Grandmother. She was fortunate to have a long life with her children. She was married for 62 years to the love of her life. For that I am grateful.
Mom's health had been failing for several years. It started with several surgeries for joint replacements, back surgery, a heart attack and heart surgeries. You think you would be prepared for "that day", however I never realized how much it would hurt and how sad I would be.
My 5-year-old self wants my Mom to comfort me now. I want her to call and check on me and tell me that everything will be OK.
Adult Lisa, and I use that term lightly, knows that Mom had an amazing life, she is in a better place, she is no longer in pain, and her vision issues are resolved. Mom was an avid reader and it was awful to see her not be able to voraciously read several novels a week. Mom, the English Major, loved to read.
My 5-year-old self wants to help my Mom decorate the house for Thanksgiving and watch her prepare the family dinner. We would be making hand-print turkeys to decorate the windows. I would help her pull out the other decorations. The pilgrim shaped candles that were never lit, but displayed for many years. Let's not forget the classic cornucopia. My favorite thing about Thanksgiving was her yummy stuffing and gravy which was made like her mother made it- using the giblets and homemade broth. None of this boxed and packaged crap. The real deal.
Adult Lisa will be part of the "team" this year preparing Thanksgiving dinner. The other night Dad asked if I had Mom's stuffing recipe. Sigh. Sadly, the answer is no. Mom was one of those cooks that didn't always follow an exact recipe. I kinda/sorta know how it was prepared, but I never thought to have her write it down. However, I do know that we will prepare a dinner that Mom would have proud of and we will gather as a family, share stories, laugh, and shed a few tears.
My 5-year-old self wants to climb into the back of my parents car and squirm with excitement, not wearing seat belts, as we drive over to my Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving dinner. When we arrive we will play hide-n-go seek and run around the yard, careful not to get our special outfits dirty. Then we will sit at that fabulous kids table and eat what we want, and hide the icky vegetables under some left over mashed potatoes or slip them under the table to an awaiting and hungry dog.
Adult Lisa will drive over to Dad's and revel in the beauty of watching Heather and her cousins continue our family traditions. Lauren, Heather, Brianne, Miranda, and I will prepare our meal. We will continue Mom's tradition of including dear friends at our table. We will cherish our family tradition, but also create some new traditions. The internet will allow us to decorate in a creative and artistic way that we will call our own, but stole from millions of other people that are googling "most creative thanksgiving table decorations."
Nothing against Martha Stewart, but we don't have a staff of 100 to decorate every inch of the table, entry way, kitchen and have homemade gifts for our guests. Instead we will continue our new family tradition of the "white elephant gift exchange" at the end of dinner. Who doesn't need a new dollar store item to make you laugh. Nothing says family time better then getting to steal a favorite gift.
My 5-year-old self wants to fill her tummy with food (not worrying about calories), sleep on the way home, then be tucked into bed by my Mom.
Adult Lisa has no problems eating copious amounts of food and sharing a beverage or two. Heather, the designated driver, will make sure we get home safely, then we will probably sit by a roaring fire and I will remember how thankful I am to have such an amazing family, boyfriend, girlfriends, and the best daughter I could have asked for.
I am thankful for sure. I am blessed. And...............I really really really really really miss my Mom.
xo
Lisa
